Footsteps belonging to a child rustle across the thirsty landscape, the green on the grass is faded. The young boy, Tre’, walks up to the prison-like front door and hears his friends mom rebuking him for being lazy and not doing his chores around the house. “You just like yo daddy!” the mom scorns. The scene is from a popular 90’s film about growing up in the hood.
I’m not sure if John Singleton penned that line or if someone else helped him write it, but that phrase is very familiar to some in the Black culture. It is a negative colloquialism that has plagued the reputation of Black Fathers. Black men have had to carry the weight of stereotypes about being lazy, criminals, and rolling stones for far too long.
Author Tiffany Parker changes that narrative with her children’s book, “Just Like Your Daddy.
WP: So I’m sure you remember this movie right? When you go back and watch that scene how does it validate the message in your book that you want to get across?
TP: Yes, I remember the movie for sure and I never got over Ricky 🙁
But wow, that scene was harsh watching it again as an adult. While it wasn’t my childhood, I know it’s the unfortunate reality of so many kids still to this day. With my book, I definitely want to empower parents to realize the horrible effect that it has on children when these words are spoken to them. We can change the narrative and is my ultimate prayer for the book, to stop the cycles of emotional and verbal abuse one page at a time.
WP: Before anyone gets their feathers all in a ruffle, Boys in da Hood also had good representation of Black men. Tre’s dad was a great example of a Black father.
There are all kinds of statistics about Black men in America that some people like to use to paint them in a negative light, which is easy to do when the information is not understood in the correct context. But I like that your book so confidently defies the negativity and normalizes the greatness of Black men. Tell me about some of the men in your life who have had a positive influence and inspired first you and then your children.
TP: My dad for sure. He is the ultimate G.O.A.T and was always there. I dedicated the book to him as well for that very reason. He was very involved with us as kids and that meant so much to me as I grew up and even more so seeing him with my kids as a Paw Paw. I knew I wanted my kids to have the same experience. He pushed me to go after any and everything I wanted. He taught me about the ins & outs of buying my first car, how to cut grass, check my oil and tires before a trip, how to open a checking account and keep up with my purchases so I won’t overdraft, how a REAL man should be treating me, and of course so much more.
For my kids, the most positive influence is my husband. He is also very involved in everything they have going on, spending time with them individually, and constantly praying over us as a unit. They are all definitely daddy’s babies.
WP: Your illustrations are sooooooo adorable! Who did them and how much do they reflect your own family?
TP: Thank you girl! I love them so much as well. Navi Robins did them and I literally shed a couple of tears when I got them back the first time. They reflect my son and husband, he drew them based on pictures of them. I wanted the kids to look like we look so that when other kids read them, they can also see themselves on the pages. That was really intentional and important to me. I wanted a black family in a positive light and Navi really did an amazing job bringing my vision to life.
(To see more of Navi Robins work click here) –
WP: As a black woman, what role, in your opinion, should we continue to play in uplifting our Black men, especially for our children? What kind of practical things can we do and say to help them as they fight to overcome the obstacles that uniquely come from being a Black man in America?
TP: I think we should first speak life into our kids every chance we get. Our words are beyond powerful. Dads (& no one for that matter) are never going to be perfect, but the world does enough of belittling our black men, why would we want to add to that. Black dads are dope and there are PLENTY out here doing amazing things.
My book is to show parents that when we say “You’re just like your daddy,” that CAN be a good thing. It reminds them that our kids don’t have to grow up thinking that it’s a bad thing. They don’t have to grow up with that scene from Boyz in da Hood as part of their upbringing. We can control that and I believe it is our responsibility. One practical thing would be repeating the affirmations that are in the book at the end. Repeating those power words over and over will stay with them for a long time.
We have to spread the gospel about how many hard working, loving and responsible fathers there really are in the Black community. I’m not saying that all Black men are perfect and none have flaws, but that scenario certainly isn’t unique to Black men. A lot of fathers from various cultures have fallen short but many more have also stuck around and shown kindness, love and have instilled discipline in their children’s lives. They have spent quality time with their children, been providers and have been spiritual leaders in the home. And that’s what Tiffany Parkers book does. It tells the other side of the story. It is easy to read, and the pictures are bright and colorful giving a sense of cultural pride. Even thought it was short I stood up and gave it a personal standing ovation after I read it.
It is definitely worth checking out here https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737327805
And although I haven’t read all of the books below, here are some more titles that also give Black fathers a high five:
- A Daddy is Born by Jelani Hashim Bracey
- Daddy’s Arms by Fabien E. Ferguson
- Ace Wins the Race With Dad’s Amazing Grace by Jasmine Lavette Barton –
- My Daddy and I by Ayesha Rodriguez
- A Date With Daddy by Tiffany Bowers
- When Daddy Comes Home by Britney Harris
- Daddy Learns the Truth by Jermaine and Jordan K. Seamon
- Super Daddies the Series by Anita Gibbs
- I Just Want to Flip by Jelp Shinholster IV
- Liam’s First Cut by Taye Jones
- Daddy Read To Me by Rachel Slaughter
And don’t forget to check out my book I Am Black History from A-Z Here 🙂
